Imaginary Murders on the Rise

On May 12, 2015 a man in Jacksonville, Florida turned himself in to the local Sheriff for the murder of his best friend. Thirty-seven year old Geoff Gaylord stabbed his friend of seven years repeatedly with a kitchen knife before dismembering the body with a hatchet and burying him in the backyard. Geoff Gaylord told police of the murder, “It was an overreaction. I should have listened to the neighbor lady and got us into counseling, but no, I did the unthinkable and killed my best friend. I’m a terrible, terrible person and I need to be punished.”. Despite his gruesome confession for the murder, Mr. Gaylord will not be charged with homicide because the friend he killed happens to be imaginary. Geoff’s imaginary friend, Mr. Happy, was suffering from drug and alcohol addiction at the time of his murder and it became too much for Gaylord to handle. According to the statement given to police, the two friends had not had a “real conversation” in at least a year and had begun to drift apart as Mr. Happy’s addictions intensified. Geoff Gaylord claimed, “His room was a mess all the time with his toys and dolls. He left his empty vodka bottles all over the kitchen… Never picked up his empty cocaine baggies… He messed up my apartment to the point where I just couldn’t get it clean… Before Hap started doing drugs and acting weird he was my BFF… We’d go dancing, play on the children’s park equipment, both huge fans of doom metal- listened to it for hours with the lights turned off.” and that Mr. Happy “left the toilet seat down when he peed.”. The breaking point came when Mr. Happy crashed Gaylord’s Nissan ALTIMA after the two had been out celebrating Mr. Happy’s birthday at a local Hooter’s. Geoff Gaylord was ultimately arrested for the incident despite the fact that his imaginary friend had been the one driving. Gaylord stated, “That drunk driving incident I got unfairly blamed for and just how messy he had become put me over the edge and I murdered him.”. Horrified by his own crime, Mr. Gaylord, who was incredibly intoxicated at the time of his confession, insisted upon the death penalty “right now” and threatened police when they refused to sentence him as he desired; Instead he was arrested for threatening police, possession of drug paraphernalia and possession of an illegal machine gun discovered inside his home. Disappointingly, it is more likely than not that this story which was originally published on Moron.com is nothing more than a hoax. Geoff Gaylord’s mug shot is in fact a photo of a man named Billy Southern which appeared in a gallery of “Crying Mugshots” that went viral in 2011.

  Recently, fake stories on imaginary murders have become somewhat popular. According to a fake story published in 2013, Doug Byron, a resident of Bangour, Maine went to his local police station and confessed to the murders of eight people who he claimed had occurred over a span of two years. M. Byron led police to eight shallow graves just outside the town of Milford and turned over journals in which he detailed how he had selected and stalked his victims before murdering them. The descriptions of the killings were so detailed and gruesome police believed him to be a serial killer… Until they dug up the graves of his victims and found nothing but dirt. Police Chief Lou Foster stated, “This is weird even for Maine. I mean, he’s so sure he committed a crime, but he hasn’t. He led us to eight graves in the woods, but all he’d done was dig a big hold and then refilled it. The journals are packed with grisly details, and I probably wont sleep for a week, but they’re just works of fiction.”. Although these stories are just as real as the victims, let’s pretend for a moment Geoff Gaylord and Doug Byron did murder and dismember the bodies of their imaginary friends. As we all know, it is perfectly normal for children to have an imaginary friend or two or ten. During childhood, imaginary friends are used as a device to experiment with early socialization. In the hypothetical case of Geoff Gaylord, it seems Mr. Happy began as a substitute for authentic socialization. As Gaylord recalled, he and Mr. Happy spent a lot of time going out dancing and listening to doom metal music together. While it seems Mr. Gaylord did in fact have some underlying mental and/or addiction issues, many mentally stable adults have imaginary friends to help them cope with loneliness and social anxiety. As Geoff Gaylord’s struggle with addiction and hoarding intensified, it was easier for him to blame Mr. Happy than to face his own problems. In killing his imaginary friend he was, in a way, “killing” the bad habits which he had projected onto Mr. Happy; If Mr. Happy dies, there will be no more DUIs, no more drugs or trash in the apartment. Murdering Mr.Happy may have also been an indirect attempt by Gaylord to punish himself for the bad behavior which he is, at the very least, subconsciously aware he is responsible for. He permanently ended the illusion of Mr. Happy by “murdering” his imaginary (and possibly only) friend. Doug Byron, it seems, had different motives behind the manifestation and murders of his imaginary friends. Despite his confession and remorse for committing the murders, they were all meticulously pre-meditated. Usually, serial killers who get away with their crimes are highly intelligent; Perhaps planning and “getting away with” killing was gratifying for Doug Byron’s ego. He may have begun killing in hopes it would boost his self-confidence. Murders often claim the “god-like” feeling they experience from having control over another human’s life and death is their primary motivation to kill. For Mr. Byron, creating imaginary people to murder  may have been a way to replicate this feeling of total control without actually having to harm anyone. As with any serial killer who turns themselves in, Doug Byron would have only done so after he felt, for whatever reason, he could no longer continue his way of life. The eight innocent, imaginary people Doug Byron created and killed were very likely created based on who he pictured as his ideal “type” to kill. As police stated, his journals detailed how he selected and murdered his victims. For Doug Byron, the journals were a way to document and relive his imaginary fantasies over and over, each time making them just a little better, by his standards; Very similar to an actual killer. Since these stories were just hoaxes, sadly we will never have the opportunity to read the detailed journals of this mind-boggling “murderer”. But it we just close our eyes, we can imagine all the bizarre and unbelievable things it would say…

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So I Married the Oldest Axe Murderer: 100 Year Old Hacks Wife to Death in Her Sleep, Commits Suicide

In the late evening of Sunday April 5, 2015, one-hundred year old Michael Juskin of Elmwood Park, New Jersey murdered his 88-year-old wife, Rosalia, with an axe as she slept in her bed on the first floor of their home at 58 Spruce Street. Afterwards, Mr. Juskin killed himself by slitting his wrists with a knife in the first floor bathroom. The bodies of the couple were discovered the following day around 9:00 AM by one of their sons who had come to the house to check on his parents. Michael and Rosalia had three children together (two sons, one daughter) and were long time residents at 58 Spruce Street. When they moved to their neighborhood, their home was one of only a few in Elmwood Park, then called “East Paterson”. Neighbors described the two as “a nice couple” and despite the fact the Juskins mostly kept to themselves and Michael was, “not the type to converse” their neighbors would see them outside tending to their yard together often. Police say, however, the couple had a history of domestic violence and that Rosalia had called 911 on three occasions over the past three years. In March 2012, police were called to the home when Michael Juskin was displaying “erratic, dementia-type behavior” and was taken to the hospital. A family member commented after the murder/suicide, “Sometimes he [Mr. Juskin] was lucid and sometimes he wasn’t.” Again, in the fall of 2013, Rosalia called 911 after an argument between she and her husband regarding the quality of her cooking, among other things which were undisclosed. According to Mrs. Juskin, the argument between she and her husband turned into “harassment” although no signs of abuse were observed by the police. In January 2015, Rosalia made the most unusual call of all from behind a locked door in the basement of their home. Michael Juskin reportedly ignored his wife’s pleas to be let out of the basement which eventually led her to call emergency services. When they arrived, still no signs of domestic abuse were observed and she insisted it was an accident. It is unclear how Mrs. Juskin came to be locked in the basement in the first place, though it is assumed Michael locked the door behind her. After the murder/suicide one of their sons, Nick Juskin, told investigators, “He [Michael Juskin] wasn’t himself. More times than not, he didn’t know where he was. He had Alzheimer’s. He couldn’t hear worth of shit.”, which may explain why he did not respond to his wife’s pleas to be let out of the basement. Emergency workers who responded to that call commented, “He’s 100 years old and she [Mrs. Juskin] chalked it up to that. She didn’t feel it was purposeful.” but it had been the third call to police in three years. Adult protective services were contacted about the incident but did not see the need to intervene in any way. Long-time neighbors of the couple claim Michael had wanted to divorce his wife for decades and approximately one month before the murder/suicide took place, Mr. Juskin made one last attempt at it. Twenty-four year old Alejandra Gonzales who lived across the street from the couple received a visit from Michael Juskin one day. He was insistent that he needed a ride to Paterson in order to meet with a lawyer about divorcing his wife. Gonzales explained, “He was very unhappy; he thought his wife was taking his pension money… He might have thought she was cheating on him.”. Alejandra’s fiancé complied and drove Mr. Juskin to the town of Paterson where a lawyer told him he was elderly and should just “let it go” and enjoy the rest of his life. Mr. Patterson, however, felt differently. Shortly thereafter, he showed up on Gonzales’s doorstep requesting a ride again; This time, he told the lawyer he was only 93. After the second incident, Alejandra contacted one of his sons, who informed her, “He does this all the time. Just don’t do it [drive him to the lawyer’s office] anymore.”. The couple lived part-time in Gulfport, Florida where their daughter is a full-time resident. The Juskins’ daughter urged her mother to come live with her in Florida, away from Michael, asserting, “We know he’s unstable.”, but Mrs. Juskin refused her daughter’s offer. Next door neighbor, 42-year-old Dorta Biskup told reporters, “He didn’t want medicine [for his dementia], he would sometimes drink vodka.” and that Michael could often be heard, “hollering through the door”. Although it is unconfirmed due to pending investigation, it is believed Michael Juskin is the oldest known murderer in the history of the United States, possibly the world. In 2013, only 0.6% of murders were committed by someone aged 75 or older.
This tragedy could have been prevented. If you are in an abusive relationship, even if it is “just” emotionally abusive, as Rosalia Juskin’s was, there are people who can help; Please get out immediately and seek refuge at your nearest Women’s Shelter.
National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (1-800-799-SAFE)
If you are living in another country and need assistance finding resources to escape an abusive relationship, please contact me and I will find resources in or near your own community immediately.
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