Everybody Poops: The Post-Mortem Edition

After a person has been declared clinically dead and biological death occurs, long after our sentient personality has left this world, certain bodily functions just keep on keepin’ on. Old habits die hard, and in the case of the human body, some habits won’t die just because you do.

1. Brain Activity & Our Five Senses
You may have heard at one point in your life that after death, brain activity continues for a period of time. This is true to some extent, though most of the postmortem brain activity is actually the brain making one last attempt to keep itself alive by using all the oxygen left inside the deceased body. In doing this, brain cells cause irreparable damage to themselves. consciousness can be retained for approximately 15-20 seconds following death- this is true even in the case of people who are decapitated. This short period of consciousness following death is most likely when your “life flashes before your eyes”. Although it is difficult to understand how a person may feel they are literally reliving their entire life in a matter of seconds, it’s very similar to how we perceive time in a dream. Have you ever fallen asleep and had a bizarre dream that felt like it lasted forever, only to realize you’d been sleeping for just a few minutes? That is most likely what is experienced by people who are dying, or having a near death experience. With brain activity continuing after death, our five senses slowly fade after death, as well. The first sense to go is sight, followed by taste, smell, touch and finally, hearing. That means even if you didn’t get a chance to say goodbye before your loved one passed, if you told them something shortly afterwards, they probably still heard it.

2. Post-Mortem Movement and Breathing
Just because your brain has died and all activity has ceased, that doesn’t mean your nervous system has stopped functioning entirely. Often corpses will retain reflex action, causing muscle twitches, spasms, even what appears to be shallow breathing (which is sure to turn anyone’s Wake into an exciting event). These movements are caused when nerves send signals to the spinal cord, but you might want to keep that to yourself and see if you can convince everyone at the Wake that your grandmother is turning into a zombie.

3. Skin
Skin cells do not need constant circulation to survive, which means they’ll outlive you by several days. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to grow and new skin cells, so any wounds you previously have or acquire during death will not heal. That means any tattoos, piercings, plastic surgery, microdermabrasion etc. that you were considering having don postmortem to look good for your last hoorah probably wont look as great as you may have imagined.

4. Hair and Nails Appear to Grow
…they don’t really, but it certainly looks that way. Same as your skin, no new hair or nail tissue will grow. A body begins to lose all its moisture following death. When all that water weight starts dropping off, you get a postmortem face lift. The pulling back and tightening of your skin from lack of moisture gives the appearance of hair and nail growth, when in actuality you are just shriveling up and shrinking.

5. Vocal Chords
When you die, the bacteria in your body that once digested your food begins eating you from the inside out. This causes a tremendous build-up of gasses inside your body which has to escape somehow. There are many ways in which these gasses evacuate the corpse, one of the less disturbing methods being through your windpipe… And yes, that is one of the less disturbing ways. It causes moans, groans, even squeaks to come from the deceased.

6. Pee/Poo/Farts
There is a common misconception that some people urinate when they die. Luckily, we’re here to dispel those kind of rumors; The truth is, almost everyone pees themselves when they die. The urinary sphincter is held shut by a part of your brain, so when your brain stops functioning, your sphincter opens up and everything left in your bladder at the time of death is released. After you die, if you gotta go well… You really gotta go because your brain is no longer able to “hold it”. If it helps ease your mind, you won’t necessarily “pee your pants”. Assuming you live a long life and die a natural death, this postmortem urine could very easily be collected by a catheter. Another misconception is that some people defecate one last time at the moment of death- this is just a flat out lie… Due to the fact that the bacteria in your body that digests food won’t begin eating you until all the food is gone, almost everyone poops for days following their death. Remember when I said there were many more disturbing ways built-up gas can escape a corpse? Pooping is one of them. Excess gasses often expel themselves through the anus, taking with them whatever is in their path… which is usually human waste. More commonly refered to as “poop”. The expulsion of gasses through the anus can also cause lots of postmortem farting. I think the disgusting child in all of us can appreciate the fact that even in death, we can (and will) fart up a storm in the coroner’s office.

7. Death Erections (and Ejaculations)
After all the blood in your system has stopped circulating, it begins to pool. The effects of this are most evident during the 4th stage of decomposition known as “Livor Mortis”, which you can learn all about here on The Post-Mortem Post on Thursday April 9th. All you need to know now is that after death blood pools in the lowest (in relation to the rest of the world) regions of the body. This means if you die standing up or laying face down, one place blood will pool is in the genitalia. When a male’s penis- living or dead fills with blood, it causes an erection. In the days of public hangings, when bodies were not always removed in a prompt and courteous manner, people became very familiar with the phenomenon of “death erections”, sported by many men who were hung to their death. During the 3rd phase of decomposition, Rigor Mortis (come back Wednesday April 8th to learn more) every muscle in the body begins to harden. The hardening causes contraction of the muscles and sometimes all that hardening and contracting can cause a corpse to ejaculate.

8. Coffin Birth
As we all know, pregnancy and childbirth used to be an incredibly dangerous experience for women. In a time before prenatal vitamins, ultrasounds and blood transfusions (with the correct type of blood) it was all too common for a woman to die during some stage of her pregnancy. Unfortunately, in those times, not everyone was able to receive a burial soon after death, or in some cases, ever. Due to this, there were a few rare accounts of women who had given birth, postmortem. These “Coffin Births”, as they became known, were caused by a combination of softening, deceased flesh and a build up of gasses within the cadaver. In some instances, this gas escaped through the vaginal canal of a female corpse, bringing a living, breathing baby out with it. Yes, you guessed it- the expulsion of postmortem gasses through the vaginal canal could also cause corpse queefs.

MYTH: In the late 1800s and early 1900s Optography was all the rage. Used as a plot device in many fictional murder mysteries at the time, it was also utilized in real-life crime solving. After Franz Christian Boll discovered rhodopsin, also known as “visual purple”, a photosensitive pigment in the retina which can be “fixed” similar to a photographic negative, German psychologist William Kuhne set to work researching how this could be helpful in solving crimes.There was a belief that an optogram could capture the last image seen before death on the retina of the deceased. This led investigators to believe they might have a shot at capturing an image of the killer in the eye of their victim. Kuhne did a lot of very mean, sad things to rabbits during his research that we do not condone and we don’t wanna talk about it… So instead we’ll jump to November 16, 1880 when William Kuhne finally got the shot to test this theory on a human eye. Erhard Gustav Reif was executed by guillotine after killing his children in Bruchsal. Immediately following his death, Reif’s eyes were extracted and sent to Kuhne to be analyzed. Kuhne found that on the left eye of Erhard Gustav Reif there was a vague outline of what appeared to be the guillotine blade.

Outline of optograph obtained from subject’s left retina.

This was a huge discovery in forensics… until people began to put two and two together and realized that the position in which Erhard Gustav Reif was placed at the time of his execution would not have made it possible for him to see the blade of the guillotine, not to mention he was blindfolded at the time. Despite the fact that is scientific reasoning to support how this theory would work… it just doesn’t, at least, not now. It is possible optography will be more thoroughly researched and one day, perfected as a method for solving murder.
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If you enjoyed this article (or didn’t and want to know ways to minimize you postmortem farting and corpse queefs) you may like Burying the Dead is Killing the Planet, and Demystifying the Process of Dying.
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Dying with Dignity: One Woman’s Willful Journey into Death

The following video documents the final days of a woman who opted for physician-assisted suicide in 2010. Seventy-four year old Michele Causse Deriaz, a resident of Toulouse, France traveled to Switzerland with her partner and a friend in order to die on the day of her birth, July 29th. Michele’s story is very intriguing; She speaks bluntly, even joyfully, on the subject of her death and has strong yet simple views on the topic of Dying with Dignity. Michele volunteered for cameras to follow her in the days leading to her scheduled death and to be present as she chose to take a lethal dose of pentobarbital, prescribed by her end of life physician. She hoped that by participating in the documentary, physician-assisted suicide would be a more available option for others like her who wish to end their life. On the day before her death she left a message for viewers, “Let me say before dying that people really cherish life… I have to be really suffering to leave it; I wanted to live just like everyone else… There won’t be crowds of people lining up to die. The few who wish to die will certainly have good reasons.”

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If you enjoyed Michele’s story, you might also like Dying with Dignity, Demystifying the Process of Dying, Everybody Poops: The Post-Mortem Edition, Karl Wallenda’s Fatal Tightrope Fall, Possible Relatives: Tina Enghoff Photographs Homes of the Recently Deceased and Joshiah: We are the Creators of Our Universe

Survivors of Spontaneous Human Combustion

In 2013 a 9-day-old infant, “Baby Rahul”, made headlines when his mother, Rajeshwari Karnan admitted him to a local hospital in India to seek treatment for his burns which she claimed were caused by spontaneous combustion. Rahul was discovered lying in his bed, on fire, by a neighbor who heard the child’s screams. Professor R. Jayachandran, Rahul Karnan’s pediatrician believed his burns may have been caused by gasses expelling through his skin and theorized it may be a genetic condition. Twenty-five year old Rajeshwari has an older daughter, Narmatha, who has never suffered a believed instance of SHC. Since Rahul’s initial incident, Rajeshwari claims her son has spontaneously ignited on three other occasions. In January 2015 Rajeshwari Karnan admitted Rahul’s 10-day-old baby brother to Kilpauk Hospital in India after his feet supposedly caught fire while she was in the bath. The unnamed baby’s had burns covering 10% of his feet and had to spend over one month in the hospital recovering. The hospital was incredibly reluctant to release the newborn from the believing one of the parents, most likely Rajeshwari, was suffering from Munchausen by proxy syndrome and had set fire to her own children for attention. “Munchausen Moms”, mothers who harm their children to gain attention and sympathy (usually by way of slowly poisoning their children) have gained infamy in the past few decades as this mental illness which can affect either parent, but usually the mother, has seemingly become more widespread. Hospital dean Narayana Babu stated, “All tests reveal he [unnamed Baby Karnan] is completely normal. The parents went through psychiatric counselling and were found to be normal.”. The Karnans told reporters their community has ostracized them after the repeated burnings of their two children.

Frank Baker claims he has survived repeated instances of “partial spontaneous combustion” which he was diagnosed by a doctor. The doctor who supposedly diagnosed Frank with “partial spontaneous combustion” has never come forward or been mentioned by name. The first time Frank burst into flames, it was witnessed by a close friend. Frank claims he has spontaneously combusted three times since the initial incident. For several years, Frank Baker has been soliciting money for “Spontaneous Combustion Research”. I am not convinced, but here is his story in his own words.

Jack Angel is probably the most well-known survivor of SHC when in fact, he never experienced spontaneous combustion nor did he claim to. On November 12, 1974 Jack Angel was taking a shower in his mobile home in Savannah, Georgia when the water suddenly stopped flowing. When he went to check the water pressure, he was sprayed with scalding hot water. Jack Angel filed a civil-action suit in the Fulton County Superior Court over the burns which he received after being sprayed by the faulty water tank. Somehow, the accounts of this run-of-the-mill lawsuit has morphed into a wildly false story of surviving spontaneous human combustion. Today, people claim Jack Angel fell asleep on a water mattress and awoke to find a hole burnt in his stomach but his clothing intact. During the lawsuit with the water mattress company a doctor confirmed at the trial that Jack Angel had burned from the inside out.
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If you enjoyed this article, you might also like Evidence Suggests Spontaneous Human Combustion is a Reality, A Witness to Spontaneous Human Combustion and Other Stories of SHC, Cause of Death: Spontaneous Human Combustion and Other Stories of SHC and Children Who Remember Dying in Terrorist Attacks in their Past-Life

So I Married the Oldest Axe Murderer: 100 Year Old Hacks Wife to Death in Her Sleep, Commits Suicide

In the late evening of Sunday April 5, 2015, one-hundred year old Michael Juskin of Elmwood Park, New Jersey murdered his 88-year-old wife, Rosalia, with an axe as she slept in her bed on the first floor of their home at 58 Spruce Street. Afterwards, Mr. Juskin killed himself by slitting his wrists with a knife in the first floor bathroom. The bodies of the couple were discovered the following day around 9:00 AM by one of their sons who had come to the house to check on his parents. Michael and Rosalia had three children together (two sons, one daughter) and were long time residents at 58 Spruce Street. When they moved to their neighborhood, their home was one of only a few in Elmwood Park, then called “East Paterson”. Neighbors described the two as “a nice couple” and despite the fact the Juskins mostly kept to themselves and Michael was, “not the type to converse” their neighbors would see them outside tending to their yard together often. Police say, however, the couple had a history of domestic violence and that Rosalia had called 911 on three occasions over the past three years. In March 2012, police were called to the home when Michael Juskin was displaying “erratic, dementia-type behavior” and was taken to the hospital. A family member commented after the murder/suicide, “Sometimes he [Mr. Juskin] was lucid and sometimes he wasn’t.” Again, in the fall of 2013, Rosalia called 911 after an argument between she and her husband regarding the quality of her cooking, among other things which were undisclosed. According to Mrs. Juskin, the argument between she and her husband turned into “harassment” although no signs of abuse were observed by the police. In January 2015, Rosalia made the most unusual call of all from behind a locked door in the basement of their home. Michael Juskin reportedly ignored his wife’s pleas to be let out of the basement which eventually led her to call emergency services. When they arrived, still no signs of domestic abuse were observed and she insisted it was an accident. It is unclear how Mrs. Juskin came to be locked in the basement in the first place, though it is assumed Michael locked the door behind her. After the murder/suicide one of their sons, Nick Juskin, told investigators, “He [Michael Juskin] wasn’t himself. More times than not, he didn’t know where he was. He had Alzheimer’s. He couldn’t hear worth of shit.”, which may explain why he did not respond to his wife’s pleas to be let out of the basement. Emergency workers who responded to that call commented, “He’s 100 years old and she [Mrs. Juskin] chalked it up to that. She didn’t feel it was purposeful.” but it had been the third call to police in three years. Adult protective services were contacted about the incident but did not see the need to intervene in any way. Long-time neighbors of the couple claim Michael had wanted to divorce his wife for decades and approximately one month before the murder/suicide took place, Mr. Juskin made one last attempt at it. Twenty-four year old Alejandra Gonzales who lived across the street from the couple received a visit from Michael Juskin one day. He was insistent that he needed a ride to Paterson in order to meet with a lawyer about divorcing his wife. Gonzales explained, “He was very unhappy; he thought his wife was taking his pension money… He might have thought she was cheating on him.”. Alejandra’s fiancé complied and drove Mr. Juskin to the town of Paterson where a lawyer told him he was elderly and should just “let it go” and enjoy the rest of his life. Mr. Patterson, however, felt differently. Shortly thereafter, he showed up on Gonzales’s doorstep requesting a ride again; This time, he told the lawyer he was only 93. After the second incident, Alejandra contacted one of his sons, who informed her, “He does this all the time. Just don’t do it [drive him to the lawyer’s office] anymore.”. The couple lived part-time in Gulfport, Florida where their daughter is a full-time resident. The Juskins’ daughter urged her mother to come live with her in Florida, away from Michael, asserting, “We know he’s unstable.”, but Mrs. Juskin refused her daughter’s offer. Next door neighbor, 42-year-old Dorta Biskup told reporters, “He didn’t want medicine [for his dementia], he would sometimes drink vodka.” and that Michael could often be heard, “hollering through the door”. Although it is unconfirmed due to pending investigation, it is believed Michael Juskin is the oldest known murderer in the history of the United States, possibly the world. In 2013, only 0.6% of murders were committed by someone aged 75 or older.
This tragedy could have been prevented. If you are in an abusive relationship, even if it is “just” emotionally abusive, as Rosalia Juskin’s was, there are people who can help; Please get out immediately and seek refuge at your nearest Women’s Shelter.
National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (1-800-799-SAFE)
If you are living in another country and need assistance finding resources to escape an abusive relationship, please contact me and I will find resources in or near your own community immediately.
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If you enjoyed reading this article, you may also like Germanwings Crash: Andreas Lubitz Suicide a Mere Side Effect to the Murder of 149 People, Possible Relatives: Tina Enghoff Photographs Homes of the Recently Deceased, Grandmother Murders Infant Before Suicide Attempt, Scared to Death: An April Fool’s Day Fatality, and 14 Most Violent Valentine’s Days