Everybody Poops: The Post-Mortem Edition

After a person has been declared clinically dead and biological death occurs, long after our sentient personality has left this world, certain bodily functions just keep on keepin’ on. Old habits die hard, and in the case of the human body, some habits won’t die just because you do.

1. Brain Activity & Our Five Senses
You may have heard at one point in your life that after death, brain activity continues for a period of time. This is true to some extent, though most of the postmortem brain activity is actually the brain making one last attempt to keep itself alive by using all the oxygen left inside the deceased body. In doing this, brain cells cause irreparable damage to themselves. consciousness can be retained for approximately 15-20 seconds following death- this is true even in the case of people who are decapitated. This short period of consciousness following death is most likely when your “life flashes before your eyes”. Although it is difficult to understand how a person may feel they are literally reliving their entire life in a matter of seconds, it’s very similar to how we perceive time in a dream. Have you ever fallen asleep and had a bizarre dream that felt like it lasted forever, only to realize you’d been sleeping for just a few minutes? That is most likely what is experienced by people who are dying, or having a near death experience. With brain activity continuing after death, our five senses slowly fade after death, as well. The first sense to go is sight, followed by taste, smell, touch and finally, hearing. That means even if you didn’t get a chance to say goodbye before your loved one passed, if you told them something shortly afterwards, they probably still heard it.

2. Post-Mortem Movement and Breathing
Just because your brain has died and all activity has ceased, that doesn’t mean your nervous system has stopped functioning entirely. Often corpses will retain reflex action, causing muscle twitches, spasms, even what appears to be shallow breathing (which is sure to turn anyone’s Wake into an exciting event). These movements are caused when nerves send signals to the spinal cord, but you might want to keep that to yourself and see if you can convince everyone at the Wake that your grandmother is turning into a zombie.

3. Skin
Skin cells do not need constant circulation to survive, which means they’ll outlive you by several days. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to grow and new skin cells, so any wounds you previously have or acquire during death will not heal. That means any tattoos, piercings, plastic surgery, microdermabrasion etc. that you were considering having don postmortem to look good for your last hoorah probably wont look as great as you may have imagined.

4. Hair and Nails Appear to Grow
…they don’t really, but it certainly looks that way. Same as your skin, no new hair or nail tissue will grow. A body begins to lose all its moisture following death. When all that water weight starts dropping off, you get a postmortem face lift. The pulling back and tightening of your skin from lack of moisture gives the appearance of hair and nail growth, when in actuality you are just shriveling up and shrinking.

5. Vocal Chords
When you die, the bacteria in your body that once digested your food begins eating you from the inside out. This causes a tremendous build-up of gasses inside your body which has to escape somehow. There are many ways in which these gasses evacuate the corpse, one of the less disturbing methods being through your windpipe… And yes, that is one of the less disturbing ways. It causes moans, groans, even squeaks to come from the deceased.

6. Pee/Poo/Farts
There is a common misconception that some people urinate when they die. Luckily, we’re here to dispel those kind of rumors; The truth is, almost everyone pees themselves when they die. The urinary sphincter is held shut by a part of your brain, so when your brain stops functioning, your sphincter opens up and everything left in your bladder at the time of death is released. After you die, if you gotta go well… You really gotta go because your brain is no longer able to “hold it”. If it helps ease your mind, you won’t necessarily “pee your pants”. Assuming you live a long life and die a natural death, this postmortem urine could very easily be collected by a catheter. Another misconception is that some people defecate one last time at the moment of death- this is just a flat out lie… Due to the fact that the bacteria in your body that digests food won’t begin eating you until all the food is gone, almost everyone poops for days following their death. Remember when I said there were many more disturbing ways built-up gas can escape a corpse? Pooping is one of them. Excess gasses often expel themselves through the anus, taking with them whatever is in their path… which is usually human waste. More commonly refered to as “poop”. The expulsion of gasses through the anus can also cause lots of postmortem farting. I think the disgusting child in all of us can appreciate the fact that even in death, we can (and will) fart up a storm in the coroner’s office.

7. Death Erections (and Ejaculations)
After all the blood in your system has stopped circulating, it begins to pool. The effects of this are most evident during the 4th stage of decomposition known as “Livor Mortis”, which you can learn all about here on The Post-Mortem Post on Thursday April 9th. All you need to know now is that after death blood pools in the lowest (in relation to the rest of the world) regions of the body. This means if you die standing up or laying face down, one place blood will pool is in the genitalia. When a male’s penis- living or dead fills with blood, it causes an erection. In the days of public hangings, when bodies were not always removed in a prompt and courteous manner, people became very familiar with the phenomenon of “death erections”, sported by many men who were hung to their death. During the 3rd phase of decomposition, Rigor Mortis (come back Wednesday April 8th to learn more) every muscle in the body begins to harden. The hardening causes contraction of the muscles and sometimes all that hardening and contracting can cause a corpse to ejaculate.

8. Coffin Birth
As we all know, pregnancy and childbirth used to be an incredibly dangerous experience for women. In a time before prenatal vitamins, ultrasounds and blood transfusions (with the correct type of blood) it was all too common for a woman to die during some stage of her pregnancy. Unfortunately, in those times, not everyone was able to receive a burial soon after death, or in some cases, ever. Due to this, there were a few rare accounts of women who had given birth, postmortem. These “Coffin Births”, as they became known, were caused by a combination of softening, deceased flesh and a build up of gasses within the cadaver. In some instances, this gas escaped through the vaginal canal of a female corpse, bringing a living, breathing baby out with it. Yes, you guessed it- the expulsion of postmortem gasses through the vaginal canal could also cause corpse queefs.

MYTH: In the late 1800s and early 1900s Optography was all the rage. Used as a plot device in many fictional murder mysteries at the time, it was also utilized in real-life crime solving. After Franz Christian Boll discovered rhodopsin, also known as “visual purple”, a photosensitive pigment in the retina which can be “fixed” similar to a photographic negative, German psychologist William Kuhne set to work researching how this could be helpful in solving crimes.There was a belief that an optogram could capture the last image seen before death on the retina of the deceased. This led investigators to believe they might have a shot at capturing an image of the killer in the eye of their victim. Kuhne did a lot of very mean, sad things to rabbits during his research that we do not condone and we don’t wanna talk about it… So instead we’ll jump to November 16, 1880 when William Kuhne finally got the shot to test this theory on a human eye. Erhard Gustav Reif was executed by guillotine after killing his children in Bruchsal. Immediately following his death, Reif’s eyes were extracted and sent to Kuhne to be analyzed. Kuhne found that on the left eye of Erhard Gustav Reif there was a vague outline of what appeared to be the guillotine blade.

Outline of optograph obtained from subject’s left retina.

This was a huge discovery in forensics… until people began to put two and two together and realized that the position in which Erhard Gustav Reif was placed at the time of his execution would not have made it possible for him to see the blade of the guillotine, not to mention he was blindfolded at the time. Despite the fact that is scientific reasoning to support how this theory would work… it just doesn’t, at least, not now. It is possible optography will be more thoroughly researched and one day, perfected as a method for solving murder.
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If you enjoyed this article (or didn’t and want to know ways to minimize you postmortem farting and corpse queefs) you may like Burying the Dead is Killing the Planet, and Demystifying the Process of Dying.
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Pray the Decay Away: Incorruptible Corpses and Other Forms of Natural Postmortem Preservation

Ancient Egypt is widely recognized for their advanced process of “mummification” which successfully prevented natural decomposition. These purposefully preserved “anthropogenic mummies” have been found in various ancient civilizations throughout the world and were created by exposure to chemicals, extreme cold, extremely low humidity and/or lack of air. Spontaneous Mummification/natural embalming can occur under the same conditions. The oldest known natural mummification was observed in a 6,000 year old severed head discovered in South America in 1934 which was found to be of the Incan Civilization. Most people are familiar with the image of a “normal”, dried up mummy, a body which did not go through the process of Putrefaction due to dehydration of the corpse; However, there are many variations on spontaneous mummification/natural embalming which you may not be familiar with.

1. Consistently Cold Corpses
Mt. Everest, located in the countries of Nepal and Tibet is the highest mountain in the world and a frozen graveyard for over 200 bodies of climbers who perished during their expedition. Due to the severe temperatures and extremely high altitude, bodies of those who die on Mt. Everest are usually unable to ever be recovered. The persistent subzero temperatures prevent these bodies from fully decomposing and are used today as markers for climbers on their way to the peak. Take for example the body of George Herbert Leigh Mallory.

Body of George Herbert Leigh Mallory on Mt. Everest. Courtesy of Atlas Obscura.

Mallory and his companion died during a British expedition to the peak of Mt. Everest in 1924. Unfortunately, no one knew what happened to the two explorers until a team searching for their remains discovered Mallory’s corpse on May 1,1999. Despite having died more than 70 years prior, his remains were found in almost pristine condition, preserved by persistent subzero temperatures. If you make the death-defying trek to the peak of Mt. Everest, make sure to stop by and visit George Herbert Leigh Mallory.

2. Bog Bodies
Peat bogs, also known as “alkaline mires”, are wetlands abundant in mosses and wonderful environments in which to naturally preserve a corpse. In fact, the “Tollund Man”, considered to be the most well-preserved pre-historic corpse to have ever been discovered was found in a peat bog on the Jutland Peninsula in Denmark.

The Tollund Man

The Tollund Man, discovered in 1950, most likely lived between 375 BC and 210 BC during the Pre-Roman Iron Age. Although his body has shrunk and his arms and hands (aside from one finger) have skeletonized, his facial features were preserved perfectly. The right side of the Tollund Man’s body, which was fully submerged in his alkaline grave, shows less skeletonization and shrinking than the left. He was discovered wearing a pointed cap of sheepskin secured to his head with two leather straps tied beneath his chin, a leather belt and a leather noose around his neck. It was determined the noose had been cut from the remainder of the rope with a knife. Indentations found on the front of the Tollund Man’s neck indicate he died by hanging. It is unclear why he died by hanging (execution, suicide, etc.) and whether or not his body was intended to be preserved by the bog. Today, the Tollund Man is on display at the Silkeborg Museum in Denmark.

3. Soap People
Adipocere, also known as Saponify is an incredibly uncommon and fascinating form of postmortem preservation which occurs in an alkaline and/or warm, airless environment containing moisture. Saponification is a modification on Putrefaction in which the body’s fat converts into an acidic, insoluble soap which inhibits the growth of bacteria necessary for the body to putrefy. Generally, at the time of death a body contains 0.5% fatty acid, but in adipocere, levels of fatty acid rise to 20%. Within three months, bodies that saponify will contain 70% fatty acid. At first, saponified bodies will smell strongly ammoniacal. Curiously, people who have examined saponified bodies note that this smell will eventually wear off, but will return once more if the body is exposed to fresh air for two minutes or longer. Fresh adipocere appears soft, moist, white and translucent. Eventually, the body will become very brittle appearing to be hard, dry, cracked and will take on a yellowish color. Some internal organs may saponify as well, others will become similar to parchiment paper. Although the body may eventually decay if environmental conditions alter, usually the corpse will remain in a state of adipocere for at least a few decades after being relocated. A human body takes approximately 3-6 months to saponify completely, but it can begin to form in three weeks, given the right conditions. While it is unconfirmed, reports from India claim saponify has begun to form in as little as 3-4 days. The most well-known example of adipocere is the “Soap Lady”, whose saponified body was exhumed in Philadelphia in 1875.

The Soap Lady. Photo courtesy the Mutter Museum.

Originally believed to have been an elderly victim of the 1790’s Yellow Fever Epidemic (due to her lack of teeth), it was discovered in a 1987 X-ray that her clothing contained buttons and pins which were not manufactured in the United States until the 1830s. It was also determined this toothless woman was much younger, having died no later than her 40s, possibly as young as her late 20s. The Soap Lady is currently on display in Philadelphia’s Mutter Museum.

4. Volcanic Ash
In 79 AD (most likely August 24th, around noon) Mt. Vesuvius erupted destroying the cities of Herculaneum and Pompeii. While Herculaneum was immediately incinerated by the initial pyroclastic surge, at least 1,150 citizens of Pompeii were encased in a porous pumice shell leaving behind a macabre cast of their position at the time of death.

Bodies in Pompeii

Many people are under the impression that the bodies of those killed in the destruction of Pompeii remain encased in the pumice however, this is false. While their skeletal remains are inside, the soft tissue decomposed and eventually leaked out of the hardened ash. In 1864 Giuseppe Fiorelli was serving as executive director of excavations at Pompeii. He instructed his team to not remove bones of the volcano’s victims and to instead pour plaster into the pockets of ash left behind where the soft tissue had once been. After a few days the plaster hardened, leaving us with 150 “statues” of Vesuvius’s victims immortalized in the final, terrifying moments of their life.

5. Incorruptible Corpses
Until rather recently, the Catholic Church considered “Incorruptible Corpses”, bodies that do not decompose after death, to be a miracle. Once upon a time, holy figures which remained immaculate long after their demise quickly gained Sainthood. While lack of decomposition is no longer officially considered a “miracle” in itself, there is still the belief within Christianity that these faithful few whose earthly bodies are spared decomposition are still in some way touched by God. There have been many claims that these bodies smell sweet and floral and at times appear better postmortem than they did in life… Those of us who are not quite as full of… “The Holy Spirit” realize there are legitimate scientific reasons behind these bodies that for whatever reason, do not putrify. In modern times, it has been discovered that some of the tombs used as a resting place for devoted Catholic nuns and priests are more conducive to natural embalming than others. Temperature, moisture and even architecture all influence the tomb’s ability to naturally preserve a corpse. One of the most famous Incorruptible Corpses is that of Saint Paula Frassinetti who was buried in one such a tomb in 1882.

Body of Saint Paula Frassinetti. Photo courtesy of The Order of The Good Death

In 1906 her body was exhumed to be moved to another location. At that time it was discovered that St. Paula’s body had only slightly decomposed in 24 years time. In light of this, her corpse was displayed at Saint Onofria, the Dorothean motherhouse in Rome, Italy. Unfortunately, after her body was removed from its original tomb, St. Paula did begin to decompose. In an attempt to keep her body in its state of incorruptibility, Sisters at the convent washed St. Paula Frassinetti with acid which slightly melted her skin. It did, however, prevent any further decomposition. Incorruptible Corpses often receive such treatments in an effort to maintain the body. Her corpse remains on display to this day and those who have handled the body of Saint Paula Frassinetti claim she is still quite flexible.

Learn more about The Mutter Museum
Learn more about The Silkeborg Museum

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From the same demented mind that brought you The Post-Mortem Post: FREAK

If you enjoyed this article, you may also like Burying the Dead is Killing the Planet, Everybody Poops: The Post-Mortem Edition and How to Decay the Good Ol’ Fashioned Way

THE WALKING DEAD: Indonesia

  

 In villages occupied by the Toraja people located in the mountains of South Sulawesi, Indonesia, Shamans have been raising the dead for centuries. While we might refer to the Indonesian walking dead as “zombies”, they are known by the Toraja people as “Rolang”, or “the corpse who stands up”. The only major difference between the Western world’s idea of a traditional zombie and the Indonesian version is that many people have witnessed the Rolang and luckily, they do not crave human flesh. According to the religious beliefs of the Toraja people, in order for a deceased person to reach the afterlife known as “Puya” or “The Land of Souls”, their corpse must be returned to the place of their birth for burial.

 Prior to the Dutch colonization of this area in the 20th century, the Toraja people lived in remote villages without roads connecting one to the other. Due to the difficulty of treading terrain in this mountainous region, people were terrified to journey too far in fears that their body could not be returned to their birthplace in the event of their demise. The Toraja’s beliefs state that if the body is not returned to the corpse’s village of birth, the soul will never reach Puya and will forever wander around in limbo, confused by their unfamiliar surroundings. In order to aid in transporting corpses, Shamans would be called upon to temporarily raise the dead so that they could walk back to their birthplace on their own in order to attend their funeral and begin their journey to Puya. Every August, a ritual known as Ma’nene or “The Ceremony of Cleaning Corpses” takes place.

Corpse cleaning, grooming and redressing during Ma’nene

During this time, families exhume the bodies of deceased relatives in order to wash them, groom them, change their clothes and repair their coffins. The bodies are taken to the place of their death, then back to their grave in the village of origin. Often the deceased are paraded around the village in straight lines during the journey in order to observe the living;

 This is done out of respect to the ‘Hyang’, unseen spiritual entities with supernatural powers who reside in mountains, hills and volcanoes and may only move in straight lines.

 Simple wooden caskets are placed into limestone cliffs in order to make it easier for the bodies to be retrieved for Ma’nene. Some of these limestone burial caves are so old that many coffins have rotted away leaving nothing but skeleton; Some belonging to people who died 1,000 years ago.

 Generally coffins belonging to children and infants are suspended from the sides of these limestone cliffs with rope. Once the rope rots and the coffin falls, new ropes are simply reattached and the coffin is hung once more. Infants who die before beginning teething are buried in Baby Grave Trees. [Read all about The Baby Grave Tree here]

 The Toraja, who are known as skilled woodworkers carve life-sized wooden effigies for high-status villagers which are called “Tau-Tau” and are also displayed on these limestone burial cliffs. Often, the Tau-Tau are dressed with the deceased’s favorite piece of jewelry or clothing. In the Toraja culture, more importance is placed on funerals and The Ceremony of Cleaning Corpses than births and marriages.

 In addition to returning to their place of birth, Toraja people believe that for a soul to reach Puya, all relatives of the family, no matter how far away, must attend the deceased’s funeral. Due to this stipulation, it can take several weeks, even several months, for the funeral to take place. While awaiting burial, the corpse is taken to a traditional ‘Tongkonan’ house. These houses are used almost exclusively as a place to keep the deceased before burial, similar to a funeral home. Tongkonan houses pass down from generation to generation and cannot be bought or sold according to the Toraja culture.

These elaborate houses are adorned with buffalo horns which are considered to be a symbol of wealth. The roofs’ shape symbolizes prows of the ships which carried the ancient Toraja people to the land they inhabit today. Less wealthy families may instead keep their loved one inside a room of their own home. Prior to burial the corpse is treated somewhat like an actual living person; The body will be washed, groomed, have changes of clothing and will even be offered daily meals.

 It is not uncommon for a visitor to thank the corpse for being a good host. The main reason the deceased are treated so much like the living is because the Toraja people believe it takes many, many years to reach Puya and that in some sense, the deceased remain with their bodies until they complete the voyage. Once all relatives (and the corpse) have arrived in the deceased’s village of birth, the funeral festivities may begin.  those attending the funeral will gather in ceremonial sites called “Rante”. Usually, hundreds of people are in attendance at Toraja funerals and for the wealthy, a massive feast is held which may last for several days. It is believed that for the soul to reach Puya more quickly, it is nessesary that blood is spilled at the funeral; The more blood spilled, the faster the journey into the afterlife will be. For this reason, buffalo and pigs are sacrificed at the ceremony. The installment of a new Tau-Tau requires the sacrifice of no less than 29 buffaloes and 59 pigs. For an exceptionally wealthy citizen, dozens of buffalo and hundreds of pigs will be slaughtered while those in attendance sing, dance and try to catch the animals’ blood with bamboo straws. Sometimes cockfights called “bulangan londong” are also held.

 Family will offer the corpse items they feel will be needed for the journey into the afterlife (commonly money and cigarettes). In modern times, bodies are usually transported in cars which means there is not much need for the walking dead; However, it is claimed that Shamans often attend funeral celebrations and can use the same magic to cause a slaughtered buffalo to get up and walk after it has been beheaded. This is to prove the same magic used to create Rolang is still practiced by the Toraja Shamans today. When Rolang was a popular method of transporting corpses to their burial site, special runners would go ahead of these walking dead (who were usually accompanied by a Shaman and family members) to warn people on the path and in villages that a corpse would be shambling through shortly.

 Once temporarily reanimated, the corpse would be expressionless, unresponsive, and only able to perform the most basic of functions such as walking. If anyone were to address the corpse by name or unnecessarily touch the body (in a hug, for instance) the corpse would immediately collapse and sometimes, disappear. These migrations to the corpse’s birthplace were also conducted in straight lines and were silent, somber affairs which could take many days, weeks or even months if the person had journeyed too far from home before their demise.

 The practice remains a complete mystery and although most young people of the Toraja culture do not believe in this ancient practice, the older Toraja population swear it to be real saying it is now only practiced in some areas where it is necessary such as the remote village of Mamases. The practice of regularly exhuming and cleaning corpses can be found in a few other parts of the world such as Madagascar. Unfortunately, it is believed to be a large part of why the bubonic plague, also known as the Black Death is still prevalent in that area. During the 14th century, the Black Death killed an approximate 200 million people. The disease can last in an infected corpse for several years, putting those who exhume and handle deceased infected bodies at risk of contracting the notoriously deadly disease.
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Photos courtesy Reuters, The Associated Press, Sijori Images and Mongabay.com

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Be sure to read about another bizarre funeral rite of the Toraja, The Baby Grave Tree
If you enjoyed this article, you might also like The Zombie Cat Parasite, Pray the Decay Away: Incorruptible Corpses and Other Forms of Postmortem Preservation, The Seven Stages of Decomposition, Everybody Poops: The Postmortem Edition, Mount Everest’s Death Zone, Pascualita: How Much is that Corpse Bride in the Window, How to Drive a Corpse Cross-Country and Rasputin’s Pickled Penis on Public Display

14 Most Violent Valentine’s Days

Most people observe the 14th of February as a day to celebrate love and romance, but those of us who are a bit twisted know all too well that the holiday has proven throughout history to be more murderous than mushy. Whether you’re celebrating Single’s Awareness Day alone or you’re cuddled up with your Suicide Girl and preparing to watch ‘Faces of Death’ this evening, if you are overwhelmed by the cheesiness of Valentine’s Day here are 14 morbid facts about February the 14th:

1. St. Valentine was a Roman Holy Priest who is known for marrying soldiers in secret during a time in which all marriages and engagements were strictly forbidden. The Roman Empire was building its army and felt family ties were a hindrance to active and potential soldiers. For performing these ceremonies, St. Valentine was sentenced to death. During his imprisonment, he formed a friendship with the jailer’s daughter. Before his execution, he left her a note and signed it “From Your Valentine”. On February 14th circa 270 (there are many years in which this may have taken place, no one is certain) St. Valentine was bludgeoned to death with clubs and decapitated.

2. King of England, Richard II died of starvation on February 14, 1400 while imprisoned in Pontefract Castle in Yorkshire. King Richard II, who was only 33 years old at the time of his death, was deposed by Parliament and succeeded by his cousin, Henry IV.

3. On February 14, 1779 Captain James Cook, an English explorer and navigator landed on the beaches of Hawaii with his crew. As they debarked, they were met by very angry natives who began hurling rocks at them. Cook tried to negotiate with native leader King Kalaniopuu. Unfortunately, those negotiations did not go over well after  Cook’s crew had shot a lesser chief of the tribe to death. A mob of natives attacked the Captain and his crew who retaliated with gunfire. Despite the superior weapons sported by Cook and his crew, they were engulfed by the Hawaiian natives. Captain Cook was killed in the battle, and only a handful of his men managed to escape the island and the wrath of its people.

4. In 1929, six associates of the Northside Irish gang (run by Bugs Moran) and one car mechanic were ambushed and killed in an execution style shooting in a Chicago, Illinois warehouse (2122 N. Clark St. in Lincoln Park). These murders have gone on to be known as “The St. Valentine’s Day Massacre”. While it is widely believed the attack was carried out by members of Al Capone’s Southside Italian gang, Deidre Capone, Al’s niece, defends her late uncle’s innocence. When police arrived, John May (mechanic), Albert Weinshank, Reinhardt Schwimmer, Adam Heyer, Albert Kachellek, and brothers Peter and Frank Gusenberg lying side by side along one wall. The objective of the attack was to take out Bugs Moran himself, but the unknown assassins mistook Albert Weinshank, who bore a striking resemblance to Moran, as the infamous mob leader. All were found dead except Frank Gusenberg who was barely clinging to life after being shot fourteen times. When police repeatedly questioned Frank as to who shot him he replied, “No one- nobody shot me.”, adhering to ‘omerta’, a rule of absolute silence within the gang.

5. On February 14, 1943, Frieda Reiss, an 11 month old baby deported from France was murdered in Auschwitz, a Nazi concentration camp.

6. Adolph Dubs, US ambassador to Afghanistan was on his way to the US embassy on Feburary 14, 1979 when his car was stopped by four men. The men forced the driver, at gunpoint, to drive to the Kabul Hotel where Dubs was held hostage in Room 117. His kidnappers had hoped to have Afghani prisoners in the US released, in exchange for the ambassador. Despite the United State’s wishes to hold off in order to ensure Dubs’s safety, Afgahnistan police forces stormed the hotel and opened gunfire on the room in which Adolph Dubs was being held captive. After a 40-60 second exchange of gunfire, Dubs was found slumped in a chair, killed by two shots to the head. Two of his captors were killed in the attack, as well.

7. Juan Manuel Navarro showed up at the home of Ignacia Manriquez, his ex-girlfriend, on Valentine’s Day 1993. The couple had three children together, but Manriquez had taken out a restraining order on Navarro after their break-up. One of their children, seeing his father outside, opened the door and allowed him in the house. Ignacia brought out the restraining order and told him to leave, but he refused. Navarro then followed his ex and their three children to the parking lot of a local supermarket in San Bernardino, California where witnesses say the two were engaged in an altercation outside Ignacia’s vehicle. Juan then shot Ignacia in the head at point blank range. As she fell onto the pavement of the parking lot, Navarro shot her again in the stomach and twice in the head while their four year old son watched. When the four year old boy was asked by police to recount the traumatic event he stated, “There is ketchup everywhere.”.

8. In 2000, three tornadoes unexpectedly touched down in Georgia between February 13th and 14th. Many were caught off guard as February is a highly unusual time of year for the Southern United States to experience tornadoes. It was the single deadliest tornado outbreak in the United States between June 1999 and October 2002, killing 18 total while injuring countless more and nearly destroying the Georgia towns of Camilla and Meigs.

9. 53 year old John Hamilton of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma came home on Valentine’s Day 2001 to find his wife of 14 years, Susan, lying on the bathroom floor in a pool of her own blood. She had been strangled with two of John’s ties and her head had been severly beated to the poin that parts of her brain were exposed. Blood on John’s shirt was found not to be from an attempt to recessetate his wife as he had claimed, but was consistent with blood splatters found when smashing someone’s head in. John Hamilton was later accused and imprisoned for his wife’s  murder.

10. A terrorist group known as  “The Nasra & Jihad Group in Greater Syria” detonated a truck bomb packed with an estimated 1,000 kg of explosives in Lebanon on Febrarary 14, 2005. The explosion, which took place in Beirut near the St. George Hotel, killed 21 people and injured approximately 220. Those killed in the attack include Bassel Fleihan, former Minister of Ecology in Lebanon and Lebanese Prime Minister, Rafiq Hariri.

11. Stephen Grant of Washington Township, Michigan reported his wife Tara’s disappearance to the Macomb County Sheriff’s Office on February 14, 2007. Stephen claimed his wife had gone missing 5 days prior after she was overheard on the phone saying, “I’ll meet you at the end of the driveway” before getting into a “mysterious dark vehicle” and driving off. Police became suspicious, and during a search of the couple’s home found Tara’s torso in the garage. Later, other body parts were found scattered throughout the nearby woods. Stephen eventually confessed to his wife’s murder, telling investigators he had strangled her to death before dismembering her body.

12. On Febrary 14, 2008 the fifth deadliest school shooting in the United States took place at Northern Illinois University in DeKalb, Illinois. The shooter, Steven Kazmierczak, shot and killed five students and injured twenty-one before taking his own life. The entire event occurred in only 6 minutes, between 3:05 and 3:11 pm.

13. South African sprint runner Oscar Pistorius is a double-amputee (legs, below knee), Paralympic Champion who shot and killed his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp, in their home on Valentine’s Day 2013. Pistorius, who claims he believed her to be an intruder, was recently convicted of culpable homicide and is currently serving a five year prison sentence.

14. TODAY, Feburary 14th, 2015, Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath (23), Randall Steven Shepherd (20), an unidentified 23-year-old American female and 19-year-old Canadian male had planned to shoot as many people as possible in the Halifax Shopping Center before killing themselves. This shopping center is the largest regional shopping mall in Canada and could have resulted in multiple murders. The unidentified 19-year-old Canadian was found dead in his home, presumably as a result of suicide. The other “Murderous Misfits”, as they are being called, are in police custody.

From the same demented mind that brought you The Post-Mortem Post: FREAK