Everybody Poops: The Post-Mortem Edition

After a person has been declared clinically dead and biological death occurs, long after our sentient personality has left this world, certain bodily functions just keep on keepin’ on. Old habits die hard, and in the case of the human body, some habits won’t die just because you do.

1. Brain Activity & Our Five Senses
You may have heard at one point in your life that after death, brain activity continues for a period of time. This is true to some extent, though most of the postmortem brain activity is actually the brain making one last attempt to keep itself alive by using all the oxygen left inside the deceased body. In doing this, brain cells cause irreparable damage to themselves. consciousness can be retained for approximately 15-20 seconds following death- this is true even in the case of people who are decapitated. This short period of consciousness following death is most likely when your “life flashes before your eyes”. Although it is difficult to understand how a person may feel they are literally reliving their entire life in a matter of seconds, it’s very similar to how we perceive time in a dream. Have you ever fallen asleep and had a bizarre dream that felt like it lasted forever, only to realize you’d been sleeping for just a few minutes? That is most likely what is experienced by people who are dying, or having a near death experience. With brain activity continuing after death, our five senses slowly fade after death, as well. The first sense to go is sight, followed by taste, smell, touch and finally, hearing. That means even if you didn’t get a chance to say goodbye before your loved one passed, if you told them something shortly afterwards, they probably still heard it.

2. Post-Mortem Movement and Breathing
Just because your brain has died and all activity has ceased, that doesn’t mean your nervous system has stopped functioning entirely. Often corpses will retain reflex action, causing muscle twitches, spasms, even what appears to be shallow breathing (which is sure to turn anyone’s Wake into an exciting event). These movements are caused when nerves send signals to the spinal cord, but you might want to keep that to yourself and see if you can convince everyone at the Wake that your grandmother is turning into a zombie.

3. Skin
Skin cells do not need constant circulation to survive, which means they’ll outlive you by several days. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to grow and new skin cells, so any wounds you previously have or acquire during death will not heal. That means any tattoos, piercings, plastic surgery, microdermabrasion etc. that you were considering having don postmortem to look good for your last hoorah probably wont look as great as you may have imagined.

4. Hair and Nails Appear to Grow
…they don’t really, but it certainly looks that way. Same as your skin, no new hair or nail tissue will grow. A body begins to lose all its moisture following death. When all that water weight starts dropping off, you get a postmortem face lift. The pulling back and tightening of your skin from lack of moisture gives the appearance of hair and nail growth, when in actuality you are just shriveling up and shrinking.

5. Vocal Chords
When you die, the bacteria in your body that once digested your food begins eating you from the inside out. This causes a tremendous build-up of gasses inside your body which has to escape somehow. There are many ways in which these gasses evacuate the corpse, one of the less disturbing methods being through your windpipe… And yes, that is one of the less disturbing ways. It causes moans, groans, even squeaks to come from the deceased.

6. Pee/Poo/Farts
There is a common misconception that some people urinate when they die. Luckily, we’re here to dispel those kind of rumors; The truth is, almost everyone pees themselves when they die. The urinary sphincter is held shut by a part of your brain, so when your brain stops functioning, your sphincter opens up and everything left in your bladder at the time of death is released. After you die, if you gotta go well… You really gotta go because your brain is no longer able to “hold it”. If it helps ease your mind, you won’t necessarily “pee your pants”. Assuming you live a long life and die a natural death, this postmortem urine could very easily be collected by a catheter. Another misconception is that some people defecate one last time at the moment of death- this is just a flat out lie… Due to the fact that the bacteria in your body that digests food won’t begin eating you until all the food is gone, almost everyone poops for days following their death. Remember when I said there were many more disturbing ways built-up gas can escape a corpse? Pooping is one of them. Excess gasses often expel themselves through the anus, taking with them whatever is in their path… which is usually human waste. More commonly refered to as “poop”. The expulsion of gasses through the anus can also cause lots of postmortem farting. I think the disgusting child in all of us can appreciate the fact that even in death, we can (and will) fart up a storm in the coroner’s office.

7. Death Erections (and Ejaculations)
After all the blood in your system has stopped circulating, it begins to pool. The effects of this are most evident during the 4th stage of decomposition known as “Livor Mortis”, which you can learn all about here on The Post-Mortem Post on Thursday April 9th. All you need to know now is that after death blood pools in the lowest (in relation to the rest of the world) regions of the body. This means if you die standing up or laying face down, one place blood will pool is in the genitalia. When a male’s penis- living or dead fills with blood, it causes an erection. In the days of public hangings, when bodies were not always removed in a prompt and courteous manner, people became very familiar with the phenomenon of “death erections”, sported by many men who were hung to their death. During the 3rd phase of decomposition, Rigor Mortis (come back Wednesday April 8th to learn more) every muscle in the body begins to harden. The hardening causes contraction of the muscles and sometimes all that hardening and contracting can cause a corpse to ejaculate.

8. Coffin Birth
As we all know, pregnancy and childbirth used to be an incredibly dangerous experience for women. In a time before prenatal vitamins, ultrasounds and blood transfusions (with the correct type of blood) it was all too common for a woman to die during some stage of her pregnancy. Unfortunately, in those times, not everyone was able to receive a burial soon after death, or in some cases, ever. Due to this, there were a few rare accounts of women who had given birth, postmortem. These “Coffin Births”, as they became known, were caused by a combination of softening, deceased flesh and a build up of gasses within the cadaver. In some instances, this gas escaped through the vaginal canal of a female corpse, bringing a living, breathing baby out with it. Yes, you guessed it- the expulsion of postmortem gasses through the vaginal canal could also cause corpse queefs.

MYTH: In the late 1800s and early 1900s Optography was all the rage. Used as a plot device in many fictional murder mysteries at the time, it was also utilized in real-life crime solving. After Franz Christian Boll discovered rhodopsin, also known as “visual purple”, a photosensitive pigment in the retina which can be “fixed” similar to a photographic negative, German psychologist William Kuhne set to work researching how this could be helpful in solving crimes.There was a belief that an optogram could capture the last image seen before death on the retina of the deceased. This led investigators to believe they might have a shot at capturing an image of the killer in the eye of their victim. Kuhne did a lot of very mean, sad things to rabbits during his research that we do not condone and we don’t wanna talk about it… So instead we’ll jump to November 16, 1880 when William Kuhne finally got the shot to test this theory on a human eye. Erhard Gustav Reif was executed by guillotine after killing his children in Bruchsal. Immediately following his death, Reif’s eyes were extracted and sent to Kuhne to be analyzed. Kuhne found that on the left eye of Erhard Gustav Reif there was a vague outline of what appeared to be the guillotine blade.

Outline of optograph obtained from subject’s left retina.

This was a huge discovery in forensics… until people began to put two and two together and realized that the position in which Erhard Gustav Reif was placed at the time of his execution would not have made it possible for him to see the blade of the guillotine, not to mention he was blindfolded at the time. Despite the fact that is scientific reasoning to support how this theory would work… it just doesn’t, at least, not now. It is possible optography will be more thoroughly researched and one day, perfected as a method for solving murder.
Check out the NEW BOOK by The Post-Mortem Post’s Head Writer ‘Horrible History: Mass Suicides’ AVAILABLE NOW on Amazon Kindle!

If you enjoyed this article (or didn’t and want to know ways to minimize you postmortem farting and corpse queefs) you may like Burying the Dead is Killing the Planet, and Demystifying the Process of Dying.
Find out more about our upcoming Decomposition Week special.
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Stage 1: Pallor Mortis

Pallor Mortis seen in Pablo Bartholomew’s photo of the Bhopal Gas Disaster of 1984

The first stage of decomposition “Pallor Mortis” translates to “paleness” [pallor] “of death” [mortis] and generally occurs 15-25 minutes after death. Postmortem paleness of the skin is usually seen more immediately in those who are anemic and/or have less melanin in their skin and therefore were more pale in life. Pallor Mortis is caused due to lack of capillary circulation within blood vessels which run throughout our bodies. The constant flow of blood through a living being gives the skin a good amount of its color and “lifelike” quality. During Pallor Mortis, blood stops its flow and begins to sink to lower parts of the body due to gravity. This pooling of blood becomes more evident in the fourth stage of decomposition, Livor Mortis. Unfortunately, Pallor Mortis is little to no aid in determining time of death due to its sudden onset and is only able to indicate whether the death took place more or less than half an hour before discovery of the body. During the stage of pallor mortis, we also see a thin film appear over the cornea of the deceased if eyes are open. While this is not caused by lack of blood circulating throughout the body, it occurs within a few minutes of death. The paleness seen in pallor mortis can also be caused in life by shock, heart failure, a vitamin D deficiency brought on by lack of sunlight, vasoconstriction (narrowing of the blood vessels) and homeostasis, which occurs in extreme cold.
Check out the NEW BOOK by The Post-Mortem Post’s Head Writer ‘Horrible History: Mass Suicides’ AVAILABLE NOW on Amazon Kindle!

Find out what happens immediately before the Pallor Mortis in Everybody Poops: The Post-Mortem Edition and Demystifying the Process of Dying
View our full schedule for DECOMPOSITION WEEK
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Stage 2: Algor Mortis

The second stage of decomposition, Algor Mortis translates to “coldness” [algor] “of death” [mortis]. Algor Mortis, sometimes refered to as the “death chill”, is marked by a steady decline in body temperature and continues until the corpse reaches “ambient temperature”, or matches the temperature of its surroundings. Algor Mortis usually sets in one hour after death, but many factors have significant influence on this phase of decomposition. Determining the correct time of death by way of body temperature can be difficult due to stability/fluctuation of ambient temperature, the thermal conductivity of the surface the corpse is on and what is known as a “temperature plateau”, a highly variable period of time in which the body does not cool. The rate of cooling may be increased if the deceased is thin or malnourished or if the body is exposed to low temperatures and/or a windy environment. On the other hand, if the person was febrile (running a fever), under the influence, obese or left in a warm environment, the rate of cooling will decrease. Clothing can also play a major role in speeding up or slowing down Algor Mortis. The corpse will cool faster if large amounts of skin are exposed or when wearing wet clothing. Dry, layered, heavy clothing keeps the body warm for a longer period of time after death. Once the body begins true decomposition, the temperature will rise again, making Algor Mortis most helpful in determining time of death within the first 24 hours. Temperature readings can be obtained from the rectum of the deceased or by inserting a meat thermometer under the ribcage on the right side of the corpse and into the liver. Investigators use the Glaister Equation to estimate the time of death. While the temperature change can vary anywhere between a 1 degree Fahrenheit drop in temperature per hour to a 12 degree F drop per hour, the average is 1.5 degree F drop per hour, each hour following death. The Glaister Equation uses 98.4 degrees F (average body temperature) minus the rectal (or internal) temperature in degrees F, divided by 1.5 degrees F, to equate time of death. During this stage of decomposition, we also usually begin to see full corneal cloudiness in eyes which remained open after death.
Check out the NEW BOOK by The Post-Mortem Post’s Head Writer ‘Horrible History: Mass Suicides’ AVAILABLE NOW on Amazon Kindle!

Read about Stage 1: Pallor Mortis and Stage 3: Rigor Mortis
If you enjoyed this article, you may also like Everybody Poops: The Post-Mortem Edition and Demystifying the Process of Dying
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Stage 3: Rigor Mortis

Corpse in morgue displays signs of Rigor Mortis

The third stage of decomposition known as “Rigor Mortis” translates to “stiffness” [rigor] “of death” [mortis]. The stiffness in a body during the phase of Rigor Mortis is caused by a build up of lactic acid which causes chemical changes within muscles. In life, lactic acid, also known as “milk acid” plays various roles in a body’s biochemical process. The myosin and actin (proteins involved in muscle movement) in the body then begin to harden, causing all muscles in the body to harden for a period of time, as well. At the time of death, “primary flaccidity” occurs and Rigor Mortis begins within 2-6 hours of death, starting with the eyelids, neck and jaw before spreading throughout the rest of the body over the following 4-6 hours. Sometimes all the hardening and contracting of muscles can cause an involuntary postmortem ejaculation in a male corpse. The exact onset and rate of completion of this stage is determined by many factors including age, gender, body type and muscle build; For instance, Rigor Mortis may not be perceivable in infants and children who lack muscle mass. Rigor Mortis may develop more quickly if cause of death is an infection, terminal seizure, electrocution or if the deceased has recently engaged in strenuous exercise or had a higher than average body temperature caused by fever, drugs or intoxication. Generally, 36-48 hours after death “secondary flaccidity” occurs when bacteria in the body begins eating away at the deceased from the inside out, causing the body to end Rigor Mortis and loosen again as muscle tissue begins to deteriorate. Sometimes, it can take 72 hours for the body to reach secondary flaccidity. In a warm environment, Rigor Mortis tends to dissipate sooner than average, whereas in a cold climate, the effects may persist longer.
Check out the NEW BOOK by The Post-Mortem Post’s Head Writer ‘Horrible History: Mass Suicides’ AVAILABLE NOW on Amazon Kindle!

Find out what happens prior to Rigor Mortis, Stage 1: Pallor Mortis and Stage 2: Algor Mortis and after Stage 4: Livor Mortis

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If you enjoyed this article, you may also like Everybody Poops: The Post-Mortem Edition and Demystifying the Process of Dying

Stage 4: Livor Mortis

The fourth stage of decomposition, Livor Mortis translates to “blueish color” [livor] “of death” [mortis] although it has many names including “hypostasis”, “suggillation”, “cadaveric lividity”, “darkening of death” and “postmortem staining”. Livor Mortis begins when circulation stops, blood vessels become more permeable due to decomposition, and blood settles throughout the corpse. Red blood cells, which are very dense, travel and pool in the lowest areas possible, staining the tissue. This means in a hanging death, discoloration would be seen in the feet, fingertips and ear lobes. Males who die from hanging may also acquire what’s known as a “Death Erection” (or “Angel Lust”) due to the pooling of blood in their penis.

Death Erection

In someone who died in the supine position (lying face up), lividity would appear on the corpse’s back. Drowning victims, or bodies found in water show signs of Livor Mortis in the face, upper parts of the chest, hands, lower arms, feet and calves because they are in constant motion. Livor Mortis begins within 20 minutes to 2 hours of death and initially causes the skin to appear blue and blotchy. Blood congeals in the capillaries within 4-5 hours and in 5-6 hours, blotches on the skin become more fluid. At this time, if pressure is applied to the discolored area(s), skin will turn white. Maximum lividity can be observed between 6-12 hours, and after 10-12 hours, skin will retain discoloration even when pressed. The name is slightly misleading as it tends to appear more of a blueish-purple or purple-ish red in most cases. Certain poisons alter the color of postmortem staining, which can aid in determining cause of death. In a carbon monoxide poisoning death, discoloration would be a cherry pink. Hydrocyanic acid poisoning appears bright red, and nitrates, potassium chlorate, potassium bicarbonate, nitrobenzene and aniline (which causes methaemoglobinaemia) all manifest as a red-brown or brown discoloration. Phosphorus poisoning causes dark brown postmortem staining. Discoloration is especially evident on the ear lobes and underneath fingernails and in fair-skinned people. Intensity of the color depends on the amount of hemoglobin in the blood of the deceased and hypostastis can be internal as well as external, often manifesting on the heart, lungs, kidney, spleen and other organs. During later stages of Livor Mortis, the body may also begin to show “marbling”, which is caused by the breakdown of hemoglobin.

Marbling

Tardieu Spots

Corpses in the later stages of Livor Mortis may also develop “Tardieu spots”, which look like purple liver spots. These dark spots are created by ruptured capillaries. In addition, “vibices” are often visible on bodies during the stage of Livor Mortis. Vibices look like strips or bands and are caused by pressure, usually left by tight-fitting clothing such as socks, belts and bras. In hanging deaths, a noose or other method of hanging may be visible in the form of a vibice. When pressure is applied to the corpse, it prevents blood from pooling in those areas.

Vibices seen on corpse. Lividity suggests corpse was in supine position at time of death.

Petechiae, larger haemorrhages or palpable blood blisters may form on patches of discolored skin. The subtle differences between postmortem staining/haemorrhages and bruising obtained in a fatal accident or murder is evident to investigators when determining cause of death. The discoloration caused by pooling of blood in the vessels appears slightly different from bruises which are formed when blood escapes the vessel. Livor Mortis is incredibly useful in determining whether a body has been moved after death. For example, if a body is livor on the back, indicating they died in the supine position but are discovered in prone position (face down), it is evident someone move the body. Signs of the fourth stage of decomposition are also a tale-tell sign that resuscitation is futile.
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Find out what happens before Livor Mortis in Stage 1: Pallor Mortis, Stage 2: Algor Mortis, and Stage 3: Rigor Mortis and after Stage 5: Putrefaction

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If you enjoyed this article, you may also like Everybody Poops: The Post-Mortem Edition and Demystifying the Process of Dying

THE WALKING DEAD: Indonesia

  

 In villages occupied by the Toraja people located in the mountains of South Sulawesi, Indonesia, Shamans have been raising the dead for centuries. While we might refer to the Indonesian walking dead as “zombies”, they are known by the Toraja people as “Rolang”, or “the corpse who stands up”. The only major difference between the Western world’s idea of a traditional zombie and the Indonesian version is that many people have witnessed the Rolang and luckily, they do not crave human flesh. According to the religious beliefs of the Toraja people, in order for a deceased person to reach the afterlife known as “Puya” or “The Land of Souls”, their corpse must be returned to the place of their birth for burial.

 Prior to the Dutch colonization of this area in the 20th century, the Toraja people lived in remote villages without roads connecting one to the other. Due to the difficulty of treading terrain in this mountainous region, people were terrified to journey too far in fears that their body could not be returned to their birthplace in the event of their demise. The Toraja’s beliefs state that if the body is not returned to the corpse’s village of birth, the soul will never reach Puya and will forever wander around in limbo, confused by their unfamiliar surroundings. In order to aid in transporting corpses, Shamans would be called upon to temporarily raise the dead so that they could walk back to their birthplace on their own in order to attend their funeral and begin their journey to Puya. Every August, a ritual known as Ma’nene or “The Ceremony of Cleaning Corpses” takes place.

Corpse cleaning, grooming and redressing during Ma’nene

During this time, families exhume the bodies of deceased relatives in order to wash them, groom them, change their clothes and repair their coffins. The bodies are taken to the place of their death, then back to their grave in the village of origin. Often the deceased are paraded around the village in straight lines during the journey in order to observe the living;

 This is done out of respect to the ‘Hyang’, unseen spiritual entities with supernatural powers who reside in mountains, hills and volcanoes and may only move in straight lines.

 Simple wooden caskets are placed into limestone cliffs in order to make it easier for the bodies to be retrieved for Ma’nene. Some of these limestone burial caves are so old that many coffins have rotted away leaving nothing but skeleton; Some belonging to people who died 1,000 years ago.

 Generally coffins belonging to children and infants are suspended from the sides of these limestone cliffs with rope. Once the rope rots and the coffin falls, new ropes are simply reattached and the coffin is hung once more. Infants who die before beginning teething are buried in Baby Grave Trees. [Read all about The Baby Grave Tree here]

 The Toraja, who are known as skilled woodworkers carve life-sized wooden effigies for high-status villagers which are called “Tau-Tau” and are also displayed on these limestone burial cliffs. Often, the Tau-Tau are dressed with the deceased’s favorite piece of jewelry or clothing. In the Toraja culture, more importance is placed on funerals and The Ceremony of Cleaning Corpses than births and marriages.

 In addition to returning to their place of birth, Toraja people believe that for a soul to reach Puya, all relatives of the family, no matter how far away, must attend the deceased’s funeral. Due to this stipulation, it can take several weeks, even several months, for the funeral to take place. While awaiting burial, the corpse is taken to a traditional ‘Tongkonan’ house. These houses are used almost exclusively as a place to keep the deceased before burial, similar to a funeral home. Tongkonan houses pass down from generation to generation and cannot be bought or sold according to the Toraja culture.

These elaborate houses are adorned with buffalo horns which are considered to be a symbol of wealth. The roofs’ shape symbolizes prows of the ships which carried the ancient Toraja people to the land they inhabit today. Less wealthy families may instead keep their loved one inside a room of their own home. Prior to burial the corpse is treated somewhat like an actual living person; The body will be washed, groomed, have changes of clothing and will even be offered daily meals.

 It is not uncommon for a visitor to thank the corpse for being a good host. The main reason the deceased are treated so much like the living is because the Toraja people believe it takes many, many years to reach Puya and that in some sense, the deceased remain with their bodies until they complete the voyage. Once all relatives (and the corpse) have arrived in the deceased’s village of birth, the funeral festivities may begin.  those attending the funeral will gather in ceremonial sites called “Rante”. Usually, hundreds of people are in attendance at Toraja funerals and for the wealthy, a massive feast is held which may last for several days. It is believed that for the soul to reach Puya more quickly, it is nessesary that blood is spilled at the funeral; The more blood spilled, the faster the journey into the afterlife will be. For this reason, buffalo and pigs are sacrificed at the ceremony. The installment of a new Tau-Tau requires the sacrifice of no less than 29 buffaloes and 59 pigs. For an exceptionally wealthy citizen, dozens of buffalo and hundreds of pigs will be slaughtered while those in attendance sing, dance and try to catch the animals’ blood with bamboo straws. Sometimes cockfights called “bulangan londong” are also held.

 Family will offer the corpse items they feel will be needed for the journey into the afterlife (commonly money and cigarettes). In modern times, bodies are usually transported in cars which means there is not much need for the walking dead; However, it is claimed that Shamans often attend funeral celebrations and can use the same magic to cause a slaughtered buffalo to get up and walk after it has been beheaded. This is to prove the same magic used to create Rolang is still practiced by the Toraja Shamans today. When Rolang was a popular method of transporting corpses to their burial site, special runners would go ahead of these walking dead (who were usually accompanied by a Shaman and family members) to warn people on the path and in villages that a corpse would be shambling through shortly.

 Once temporarily reanimated, the corpse would be expressionless, unresponsive, and only able to perform the most basic of functions such as walking. If anyone were to address the corpse by name or unnecessarily touch the body (in a hug, for instance) the corpse would immediately collapse and sometimes, disappear. These migrations to the corpse’s birthplace were also conducted in straight lines and were silent, somber affairs which could take many days, weeks or even months if the person had journeyed too far from home before their demise.

 The practice remains a complete mystery and although most young people of the Toraja culture do not believe in this ancient practice, the older Toraja population swear it to be real saying it is now only practiced in some areas where it is necessary such as the remote village of Mamases. The practice of regularly exhuming and cleaning corpses can be found in a few other parts of the world such as Madagascar. Unfortunately, it is believed to be a large part of why the bubonic plague, also known as the Black Death is still prevalent in that area. During the 14th century, the Black Death killed an approximate 200 million people. The disease can last in an infected corpse for several years, putting those who exhume and handle deceased infected bodies at risk of contracting the notoriously deadly disease.
Check out the NEW BOOK by The Post-Mortem Post’s Head Writer ‘Horrible History: Mass Suicides’ AVAILABLE NOW on Amazon Kindle!
Photos courtesy Reuters, The Associated Press, Sijori Images and Mongabay.com

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Be sure to read about another bizarre funeral rite of the Toraja, The Baby Grave Tree
If you enjoyed this article, you might also like The Zombie Cat Parasite, Pray the Decay Away: Incorruptible Corpses and Other Forms of Postmortem Preservation, The Seven Stages of Decomposition, Everybody Poops: The Postmortem Edition, Mount Everest’s Death Zone, Pascualita: How Much is that Corpse Bride in the Window, How to Drive a Corpse Cross-Country and Rasputin’s Pickled Penis on Public Display

Burying the Dead is Killing the Planet

Burial and cremation of the deceased are rituals that began centuries ago and are by far the two most popular methods of corpse disposal in modern times. However, with rising concern about the negative effects these post-mortem traditions have on our planet, people are beginning to invent new, creative and environmentally-friendly ways to lay our dead to rest. Some of the new techniques explained below may seem a tad creepy, or even disrespectful to the deceased, but before you dismiss these new methods as an option for yourself or a loved one, take a moment to consider what the body goes through during burial and cremation along with what effects these practices have on our environment.
In modern burials, the body is usually embalmed, which involves all the blood being removed from the body and replaced with formaldehyde and various chemicals to preserve the corpse. All orifices including the eyes, mouth and nose are cleaned with a powerful disinfectant. Sometimes, the mouth is sewn shut, and usually, cotton balls or plastic lenses are places under the eye lids to prevent them from sinking back into the sockets in a way that would appear unnatural. The anus and vagina are generally packed with cotton as well to avoid any leakage. Hopefully, no one would allow someone to inject their grandmother with carcinogens and stuff cotton balls in her anus and vagina while she was alive, so why is it considered normal in our society to pay someone to do that to her body in death? The casket is then buried so deep underground that the body inside is not exposed to enough oxygen to allow the natural decomposition to take place. Instead of introducing the remains back into the earth as mulch, they simply rot, and along with the dead, each year in the United States alone we bury 800,000 gallons of formaldehyde-based embalming fluid. According to a study by the Center for Disease Control, there are 219 chemicals found in the average human body and despite efforts to contain these chemicals, along with those used for embalming, they will inevitably leak out into the surrounding soil. This can contribute to oxygen depletion of our seas and eutrophication. Many people see cremation as a less harmful method, but unfortunately these same 219 chemicals found in the body remain after cremation and can cause just as much damage when scattered or buried. Eventually, the possibly toxic, fragmented remains will make their way to our water sources. Each cremation, which lasts approximately 45-90 minutes, requires more than five gallons of fuel, and during the process mercury, carbon dioxide, carbon monoxide, and countless carcinogens are released into our atmosphere. Even if the environmental impact of cremation doesn’t bother you, imagine your body burning at 1,400-1,800 degrees Fahrenheit for close to, or over an hour, before having your bones ground to pieces in a mill. Of course, you won’t be alive to feel it happening, but since that is the case, why not choose a more environmentally-friendly method?
Invented by biologist Susanne Wiigh-Masak, “Promessa” is rising in popularity as an alternative to cremation in Sweden. First, the corpse is frozen to just below zero degrees F, the corpse, contained within the coffin, is then lowered into a vat of liquid nitrogen. This freeze drying process causes the remains to become so brittle, they will crumble into a fine powder when subjected to a vibration of a specific amplitude which lasts less than sixty seconds. This allows the water which makes up about 70% of the average sized human body to separate from the remains and be vacuumed out, converted into a sterile steam. Bits of mercury from dental fillings along with any surgical metals from the body are filtered from the dry remains using a magnetic field. The entire process takes about two hours to complete. Your loved ones may then take you home in your new, odorless, organic powder form or you may choose to have your remains buried in a starch urn which will, along with the remains, become mulch in six months to one year.

Susanne will be waiting for you in the bushes outside your house.

The rapid decomposition is due in part to the shallow burial offered with Promessa which allows the remains the necessary exposure to oxygen. The Promessa website assures the process “does not subject the body to violent or destructive handling”, but if you’re still a bit discomforted at the thought of your bones being reduced to dust so quickly after your demise, perhaps you’d prefer being liquefied.
Always wanted your remains to be dissolved in a barrel of lye without all the hassle of being brutally murdered by a deranged serial killer? Well, with Alkaline Hydrolysis all your dreams (or nightmares) can finally become a reality! Originally developed for the disposal of animal carcasses, Alkaline Hydrolysis, or “Resomation” is currently available for humans in several states and many more are working towards legalizing the process. The body is placed in a “resomator”, which is basically a human-sized pressure cooker. The resomator produces sixty pounds of pressure per square inch and is filled with a mixture of water and potassium hydroxide which is heated to about 350 degrees F. After two to three hours, the body is reduced to a pile of bone fragments, similar to those seen in cremation, and a sludgy, brown liquid that smells strongly of ammonia is left behind. Yes, that liquid is liquefied human remains. It is separated from the bone fragments and any pieces of surgical metal that remain are filtered out. While you are free to take the solid remains home in an urn as with cremation and promessa, the sterilized, DNA-free liquefied remains of your loved one will, in most cases, be poured down the drain (given the proper permits of course) and “returned to the water cycle” as their website so disturbingly states.

When we die, our bodies become water, and others drink the water. And so we are all connected in the great Circle of Life…

The thought of pouring Granny down the drain may seem to lack reverence, but keep in mind that even after death, your loved one will always be with you… perhaps literally if you don’t have a water filter. This is indeed, wonderful news for cannibals considering going on a liquid diet.
Speaking of cannibals, if you’re familiar with NBC’s Hannibal series, you may experience deja vu in a few moments. Have you ever thought to yourself, “Maybe I can train an army of toxin-cleaning, edible mushrooms to eat my body…”? If you have, you are probably Jae Rhim Lee, artist and creator of The Infinity Burial Project. She has been wearing a “mushroom death suit” embedded with mushroom spores, and covered in a crocheted pattern which is meant to act as mycelium, or mushroom “roots”. Like something straight out of a horror film, Jae has been training these mushrooms to eat her dead skin cells, sweat, urine, feces, and tears in hopes that when she dies, they will recognize her body… and eat it. She refers to these flesh-eating mushrooms as “Infinity Mushrooms”, but really the suit is made of your everyday shiitake and oyster mushrooms. Testing will begin with expired meats, then move on to humans, and there are already a few volunteers for the project. Jae is very accepting of death and is straightforward, yet lighthearted when she speaks on the subject. She’s even begun a ‘Decompiculture Society’ dedicated to encouraging others to accept their own impending demise and plan for it in a practical and eco-friendly manner.

Jae Rhim Lee, preparing for her dirt nap

If Jae’s vision isn’t artistic enough for you, you could donate your body to Body Worlds, the infamous cadaver art exhibit.
Body Worlds uses “plastination”, a technique invented by Gunther von Hagens in 1977 for medical students to better observe the human anatomy. Today, it is considered not only a valuable teaching tool, but an art form and a unique alternative to burial or cremation. The dissection and plastination of one full body usually takes about a year to complete and 1,500 hours of work. To begin, formalin is pumped through the arteries which kills bacteria in the body and prevents its decay. All skin, connective and fatty tissues are removed, and the body is submerged in an acetone bath to dissolve soluble fats and bodily fluids. It is then placed in a vacuum chamber which removes the acetone from the body and replaces it with liquid polymer. The polymer used during the process varies based on several factors and will effect the overall look of “the piece”. The body is placed in the desired position and often supported through the use of wires, clamps, needles, and foam blocks. Then, the polymer is hardened using heat, light, or gas depended on the polymer used for that individual corpse. Although you may end up in pieces once plastinated, your body must be “largely intact” to be accepted as a donor, so plastisination is not usually an option for someone who died in a violent manner. Donating your body to Body Worlds does not guarantee your body will be on exhibit, as many are sold to medical schools and various training programs.
While all these methods are currently believed to have less of an impact on the environment than burial or cremation, there are skeptics. Many believe the resources used in some of these more modern techniques are just as detrimental to the health of our planet as the tried and true practices of burial and cremation. If you already have your heart set on a specific post-mortem option but would like to offset its environmental impact, you can visit http://www.carbonfund.org and make a donation, or consider a biodegradable urn or casket. As morbid as it may seem, it is important to make your post-mortem plans and make them known to others sooner rather than later. We all like to believe we’ll live to a ripe old age and don’t need to plan for our funerals until we reach our senior years, but in reality, the Grim Reaper can come for us at any time. In the end, you should choose to do with your body after death whatever makes you most comfortable, but keep in mind long after you are dead and buried (or plastinated, or liquefied, or consumed by an army of flesh-eating mushrooms) billions of people must continue living in a world with the carbon footprint you left behind.
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To learn more about these options visit:

Promessa:
http://www.promessa.se/en/

Alkaline Hydrolysis/Resomation:
http://www.resomation.com

Infinity (Mushrooms) Burial Project:
http://www.infinityburialproject.com

Plastination:
http://www.bodyworlds.com